Everyday, when i get home from school, I finally let go of my fake smile. Tears slowly roll down my face as I whisper to myself “I don’t want to be me”. You don’t know what I’ve been through. The childhood I’ve had. How much I hate myself. What I do to myself when I’m alone. How much I just want to give up. How much emotional pain I endure. All of my feelings are hidden behind a fake smile. But every scar I have makes me who I am. I’m drowning but no one ever sees me struggle. You always hear how self-harmers are “emo” or “attention seekers” but self harm is no joke. It takes a lot to turn mental pain into physical pain. When you sit there and watch someone make fun of another person, making them pull their sleeves down, and hide their skin even more. We all carry these things that no one else can see. People say “it gets better, it always gets better. Life will never put you through more than you can handle.” That’s really hard to believe. I constantly close my eyes thinking of days that life was “easy to handle” and when I wasn’t constantly alone. I may look happy but honestly the only way I’ll smile is if you cut me ear to ear. I’ve always wondered, who would fall in love with a girl who has scars down her arms? Who would fall in love with a girl who’s smile quickly fades? Who would fall in love with a girl that wouldn’t allow herself to be loved?